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Lhasa  by rcw

We’ve all had times when we’ve question the validity of our lives. It seems only natural to want to have our existence be about something….a cause, a goal, a desire or destination; we are a driven species. And of course, when one hits their fifties they’re bound to start taking stock of  what they’ve done and how they’ve managed. As they used to say at the beginning of the old serial movies, “the story so far.”

My story has been checkered with success and failure, good and bad times…sounds like everybody else, eh?
As a path it’s been steep and rugged, but the views have been fantastic! definitely not a trail for the faint at heart, but at the same time it’s been easier than it could have been.

For what ever reason, no matter how close these feet got the cliff’s edge, there’s always been some force outside of myself holding me back. Even at my craziest, I knew, point-blank, there was a force or power keeping me from literally going off the deep end.  Some people call this force “God.”  Some people aren’t allowed to even utter the word “God.”

I call this whatever it is The Maker….and to me its’ not a bearded man on a throne behind some golden cloud.
The Maker is.  Just is.  To me, there’s more of  God to be found in Physics and Quantum level sciences than in catechisms.

Personally, I’m not much in need of signs and wonders…..although Charleton Heston parting the Red Sea was pretty nifty!  Some people need that sort of thing, and that’s fine. It’s nice to know somebody’s there to bend the rules of nature when needed. And I’m not denying some pretty miraculous occurences in my own life….because there have been many.  And I think they’re far more spectacular than anything Cecil B. DeMille could have ever imagined or produced.

The biggest miracle in my life was meeting my birthson…miracle number two has been that he is still in my life. Nothing will ever top those two blessings, no matter how long I may live.

Lately I’ve been trying to re-establish my life purposes. Creativity is an essential ingredient. So’s helping people. Jack doesn’t want me to get deeply involved in volunteering like I was at the Co-Op…in many ways he’s right; it did take a toll on my health and almost took a toll on our relationship.  So for now I do little bits here and there…in between the music.

For today Fifty Five Is The New Search…the search for the next new adventure.

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